Process of Re-birth

                                        

         

     

            It was the first week of December 2021. The weather was warmer as usual. My neighbors had planned for their house warming get-together. It was a lunch gathering. I was getting ready. I went to the backyard to dry my hair and saw a flock of bird feathers on the grass. I went near and I saw they were a mixture of grey, black, white, brown combinations. The first thought that occurred to me was: Some bird had been killed during a fight. The feathers were lying around but the dead bird had been lifted off to somewhere else. But then I felt, there is no sight of blood on the grass, so there never really was a fight. Our backyard has a CCTV camera installed. I rewound the timelapse and checked the video to see a single black bird shedding its feathers between 4:15 to 4:30 PM. After that, the bird was gone. I really prayed for the bird's good health. I tried to google about a bird shedding feathers and I read about some results on molting. I really didn't spend much time further researching about this incident.

 

            January 2022 was a good start of the year. My husband and I were able to take year end vacation and have some time off from work. It was refreshing to stay at home, do nothing. Netflix movies, food and day-time naps were heavenly. We celebrated Pongal on January 14. I was expecting my periods around that time. But it was getting delayed. I tested using home pregnancy test kits and they came negative. Finally after a week, the test showed a faint line positive. Since I was also spotting, I checked with the doctor and the doctor wanted to do blood work to see if hcg is rising well. Unfortunately, I got my periods in full stretch the next day. It was a chemical pregnancy that ended in 38 days. It was just a like prolonged menstrual cycle delayed by 1 week. Many women might have not even noticed it. I felt sad, very sad during the first week. I wept in the physical reality and also in my dreams. Journaling helped me to an extent. I wrote all my feelings and burnt the paper. I felt lighter. Talking to my loved ones helped me. My husband was very supportive in listening to my rantings patiently. I wept, wept a lot.

     

            I resumed office after taking time off for a few days. Work helped me retaining my sanity. Working takes my mind of the overthinking loops to a great extent. It was the first week of February 2022 and I woke up late on a Saturday morning. I was sipping my morning cup of tea and I saw a bird sit on our backyard fence. It had a white neck and black feathers. It was a bald eagle. I rushed to bring Sansa inside. The eagle probably was looking for its prey - mice/little birds. It flew away and I could see it's wingspan was quite wider. I have never seen an eagle at such a close distance in my life before. Later, I let my husband know about this and asked him to watch out before he lets Sansa out to the yard to play. He exclaimed that he saw the eagle too, a couple of days ago. Some chord struck my mind and I re-watched the time-lapse video of the bird shedding feathers during December at our yard. The bird's size was the same size of the eagle. So it could have been an eagle shedding its feathers.

 

        I googled on "Eagle shed feathers" and first result showed up as "Molting". Molting is defined 

as a process of re-birth of an eagle, as it decides to shed its feathers. It could be a painful process. I also read that it is 'do' or 'die' situation for an eagle and if the eagle doesn't want to shed its feathers, it could die. Once the eagle sheds the thick feathers, it feels lighter and starts growing feathers again and could live up to another 30 years.

 

        This sounded  like a message to me. Back in December, I didn't recognize the bird and hence it wasn't making much sense to me. But now, after I saw the eagle with my own eyes, I could see that "eagle decided to take re-birth" in our backyard. I told about both the incidents to my dear friend and she immediately mentioned "Sakthi - It is a message for you. Eagle is a spirit animal guide in Shamanism." It all fell into place.

 

            It indeed was a message for me. I was going through a tough time and I was reluctant to the changes upcoming in my life. Although I have heard numerous times that I have to go with the flow and I have to let go of the old for the new to come in, I was unwilling both physically and mentally to change. After my second miscarriage, I firmly believe that my perspective has shifted and therefore, my energies. I am feeling open minded now. I am going to allow all the good things, Universe has got in store for me and my husband in this year and upcoming years. Cheers to new beginnings ✌

                                    Another coincidence was when my sister in law shared             this             beautiful short song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?                    v=hXE82FM8lJ0 which says        "Meendum Pirandeno" - Have I taken re-            birth because of you?

          PS: Beautiful purple petunia blossomed during Fall 2021 from the seeds of             the          flowers in Spring 2021. Resurrected :)